Slowly

Loss always begins with the big things first, as if it were a hand that tore people down from any kind of pedestal. The first fall is always the most painful one, because it almost always comes unexpectedly.

The progress of her loss had been quick at first, but it gradually becomes less about what she can’t control and more about what she’s willing to let go of for the sake of someone else. And it’s a numbing process – not the pain, but it’s the fact that the more she loses, the more the feeling of selfishness gradually fades because she can’t muster enough energy to care more about herself than other people. And when she finally loses everything she has except her life, she suddenly finds herself as a child again, turning back time until all that’s left is a memory.

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