He often wonders if there is something he’s missing, like trying to complete a puzzle without realising that a few pieces don’t exist. The pit he digs is beginning to feel more like a pit of despair rather than one of knowledge, and maybe he doesn’t want to know but he’s already too far gone; too far thrown into the task of taking shovel to ground to ever be allowed or allow himself to stop without regret.
Sometimes, when it gets difficult to see his own skin underneath the caked layer of dirt, he thinks about those who are long gone and have long solved one of man’s greatest mysteries. He thinks of ghosts in the darkness – not the kind that have some sort of corporeal existence, but the kind kept alive by the thoughts of the living – and pretends to be one of them, trying to see what they see from the world beyond.
He wonders if they can see pain and suffering, whether they can remember any of that, and still be free from all cares and worries by declaring the love and faith that has been there from the very beginning.