He looks at all his riches, women, and the rewards he’s received in life, and something close to hate rises in his heart. If he had the willpower, he has no doubt it would be hate taking up a sliver of his feelings, but it’s because of these three things that have stirred up such feelings in the first place.
If he had to name it, it would be “complacent hate”, because all these things make him loosen the tight guard he had when he was young. It loosens his morals, his ideals, and his optimism, and forces him to lower his head in broad daylight. Unbefitting for a king, but what can he say? Only that his excuse for thinking such things stem from his wisdom and the power he wields, so instead of sharing, he writes it down instead, hoping that those who read will understand its meaning and avoid the same kind of self-imposed misery he’s allowed himself to wallow in.
The “wisest man in the world”, and even he knows how laughable such a statement is. His wisdom helps him know the endings to all possible beginnings, yet doesn’t help him at all when it comes to avoiding those beginnings that would bring about bad endings. He knows what’s wrong with him; with the world around him, but wisdom doesn’t give him the solution to every situation, because sometimes, the best answer would be to take the outcome with a grain of salt.
In the opulence of his golden palace, all he can do is stare at the particles that make up the world as he knows it, and feel like a grain of salt himself.