A Pain

Usually, if a person is named after something, he or she would be named after a beloved ancestor or relative as a sign of honour and remembrance. It’s a way of prolonging the existence of the revered, even after death.

He’s not sure what his mother had against him – or herself – when he was born, but not long after his birth, she decided to name him after the pain she had to go through. All throughout his childhood, he was a constant reminder of pain – pain to his parents, who had to raise him; pain to his older brothers, who had to babysit him; pain to himself because his own name brought upon much teasing and bullying from other children…the list goes on.

As a child, he’d grown up with pain, so pain became comfortable to him until he made a few friends, and realised that going through a lot of pain isn’t as normal as he thought it was.

His bed; his pillow at night were never the same again.

It would have been easier to stay trapped in the circle of pain – and yes, pain is in the shape of a circle because it looks really smooth but actually needs the most number of points in order to draw one – but he wants to taste what it means to have everything go his way. So one night, beside the bed that he can never sleep in again, he gets down on his knees and prays, even if all it may amount to is more pain and pins and needles.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe trying to climb out of pain will bring the biggest pain of all, so the least he can do is ask for the best. So he asks for the best, and gets the best, and finds that he can’t understand other people anymore.


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