Impatience

Imagine you’re sleeping, possibly dreaming something wonderful like riding a dolphin in a crystal-clear sea, or re-eating that oven-roasted turkey you had for Independence Day. Suddenly, someone barges into your room and shouts, “WAKE UP!!! It’s time to play tennis!” and you roll over and peer through your crusty eyes to read the clock: 6:15. In the morning, because your clock has a digital display.

Well, needless to say I didn’t quite wake up on the right side of the bed. I’ve determined a long time ago that the ‘wrong side of the bed’ didn’t refer to the left or right side of a bed, but actually refers to the outside of the bed. At least, when it’s so early in the morning that the sun’s barely awake himself. Anyway, I ended up going to the tennis courts with my aunt at 7:30am, which I don’t really understand why because I could have slept for at least another 45 minutes and still not miss anything. She’s one of those naturally high-energy people that just doesn’t know how to stop. I’m still trying to decide whether this is a good or bad thing.

On a related note, I came across an article about a new product called the “Money-Shredding Alarm Clock“. It’s exactly what it sounds like – an alarm clock that shreds money if you don’t manage to hit the ‘off’ button in time.

Money-shredding alarm clock

While it’s not a fully-realised product (yet…), I found it quite hilarious how the designer put in a hundred-dollar bill to demonstrate its effectiveness, although it could be done with some clever photoshopping skills. And apparently, if the losing money incentive isn’t enough, you could be fined and/or go to jail for destroying money. Yes, folks – destroying money is a CRIME. Even if you’re stranded in the middle of a snowy mountain and desperately need some source of fuel to start a fire. So even if you have too much money, it’s not a good idea to shred it into confetti to toss at your friend’s wedding.

One problem I see with such a product is its effectiveness. Ok, so the money could make a lot of people get up, but the same people could just turn off the alarm and go straight back to bed and then oversleep. Therefore, this clock would only work with people who don’t go back to bed after they wake up the first time. And people who have enough money to be able to shred it willingly, but not so much so that they wouldn’t care whether the money’s destroyed or not (because an extra few minutes of sleep is so worth spending a hundred bucks on, if you have a six-figure salary).

Nonetheless, I don’t see this product going on the market anytime soon, but a clever idea is always worth looking at. It certainly beats my boring alarm clock, which is actually a function on my cellphone. It works surprisingly well because it’s one thing I wouldn’t throw across the room in a fit of despair, which means I have to treat it nicely. How about you? What do you do to wake up in the morning?

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